I always appreciate knowing the things you can’t do in a cab. Notice that not only can you not pass gas in this cab, but you’re also not allowed to take a picture of the sign telling you about it. Shaun broke at least one of these rules!

Dear Malaysia,

It’s not you. It’s me.

You’ve been a relatively easy place to live and I appreciate all your modern conveniences. I love the amazing selection of food you offer and although your weather can be sweltering hot at times, I’ll take that over -50 any day.

Therefore, when I find myself getting annoyed by petty matters , I have to remind myself that no one is perfect and relationships are all about compromise. So I’m not about to break up with you. I just need to get a few things off my chest so we can move on to a greater understanding of each other.

Sometimes your idiosyncrasies make me laugh like your need to post signs to tell me all the things I cannot do.  Don’t fish in the local park lake (even though there is a monthly fishing derby). Don’t stand on a toilet seat. Don’t pass gas in a cab (see above picture).

Your radio public service announcements can be confusing. For example, I now know I have to sort my trash into 11 different categories or I could be fined, but I have no idea what the categories are or where I can take them to be recycled. And why go from no recycling program at all to 11 categories? I’m also not entirely convinced that escalators are as dangerous as you claim they are. But I’m glad to learn the solution for all your problems is to “stay positive”. If only it were that easy.

These are all little annoyances I can overlook. But what I really NEED to know is why is it ok to clean a bathroom by just splashing water all over the place and leave everything wet? How can so many of your citizens not signal and when they do, they signal one direction but go the other? Why do certain individuals think it’s ok to drop garbage from their balconies? How can you be upset with Indonesia about causing haze conditions one minute and the next have residents burning tires in their back yard?

That is all.

Thanks for listening. I’ll work on not projecting my entitled views as a guest in your country if from time to time you could just dry off the toilet seat for me.