Now I’m not talking about the standard definition of being an aunt in the west which is a title automatically earned when your sibling has a child. I’m talking about the type of Aunty (pronounced AWnty ) that exists in SouthEast Asia. The type of Aunty that involves a lot of work and dedication. Aunties are adept at spying and gossip and I believe if traditional policing forces enlisted a special “auntie division” horrific cases of abduction such as those recently in the news would never happen. An auntie has your back.
For those of you who aren’t familiar with the intensity of a Sri Lankan auntie, I’ve provided a list. You might be an auntie if. . .
- You ask random people personal questions and give them unsolicited advice. This is especially pertinent to college, marriage and children.
- You use the phrases “those days” and frequently contrast them to “these days” in a nostalgic fashion.
- You have the undeniable urge to tuck in shirts.
- You are know the exact record of your neighbours comings and goings.
- You’ve mastered the art of peeking from behind a curtain.
- You have the other aunties in the community on speed dial in case of an emergency such as the sighting of some young people “gallivanting” or “carrying on.”
- Your hobby is judging!
Ever since I was called a young, old person (another Sri Lankan compliment), I’ve decided to embrace my inner “auntie”. So all you people under 30 out there look out – “I don’t know you and you don’t know me, but I can judge you cause I’m your auntie.”