Sometimes, life can be frustrating and really all you want to do is vent. If I could, I would write the following letters of complaint to these unsuspecting culprits.
Dear Sri Lanka and Canada Post,
How is it that you manage to get a Christmas card all the way to Regina and returned back to me because the business address has moved, but you have lost 90% of the mail sent directly to me from Canada? (Scott and Shay I will be bringing you your Christmas card when I return in July.)
Dear horking neighbour,
Do you believe the louder you do your morning abulations , the better a person you are? The god of my understanding does not like the sound of people forcing themselves to puke, especially when it is interfering with the enjoyment of breakfast for others.
Dear technical institute also next door,
Why is it that I’ve been living here for over two years and you still can’t get your bus started without revving the engines? Seriously, it’s not like it’s -25 degrees. Shouldn’t you have trained one of your students to fix it by now?
Why must you consistently set a low standard for service and then fail to achieve that level?
I am beginning to hate you. Do not chew my curtains or my clothes anymore or I will have to resort to putting rubber snakes in all of my windows like “the Sams”. If we must coexist, why can’t you do something useful like eating mosquitoes or the abundance of ants who are also taking over my home?
Dear Saskatchewan Minister of Education,
I’m reading an awful lot of negative press about the situation in our province. It’s kind of depressing to be going back into. Seriously, standardized testing, extra school days and bigger class sizes, how is that going to solve anything?
Dear mini Mr. T look alike tuk-tuk driver,
No, I’m not giving you my phone number. I will never give you my phone number, and I don’t really care that your brother lives in Canada.
Dear Keells grocery store,
2 rupees (less than 2 cents) doesn’t qualify something as a “super saver” item. Also, I’m not signing up for a Nexus card because having to spend 10,000 rupees to get 1 rupee off is just ridiculous!
Watch out because Saturday I will be taking you by storm. I’m looking forward to a week of New Year fun with old friends. Ja, Tong, Luck and Daeng we are going to have some crazy times! Readers stay tuned for updates on these adventures that I guarantee will involve water, coloured powder, 7-Eleven, and lady-boys.