Somewhere, way at the back, a doctor is hiding under some coats, laughing at how much new work he is avoiding.

Already this week I’ve had some completely off-the-wall things said to me during my daily travels through Colombo that I thought I should share.

Again, I couldn’t make this stuff up even if I tried…

  • “You have to be careful of food poisoning, no? If people get sick on your watch, your name will be tarnished forever.” – Doctor’s advice after hearing that I was arranging some catering for a meeting next week.
  • This conversation goes on everyday with a certain doctor using the exact same words every time – EVERYDAY!:

Doctor – “Can we go to the Internet today?”

Me – “Sure.”

Doctor – “What time is convenient for you?”

Me – “3 o’clock”

Doctor – “Okay, I will come at 3. What about your lunch?”

Me – “I will eat some short eats.”

Doctor – Laughing…”Oh, okay. See you at 3.”

  • “I just peeped in for a minute and sat at the back…very quiet. If you speak up, you will surely be made to do some work, no?” – Doctor’s advice on how to avoid doing anything at work.
  • “My religion is love, which is weird because I hate everybody.” – A certain white-haired, 50-something-year-old man who lives in Regina and whom I Skype with on a weekly basis.
  • Doctor – “In the West, the employee who takes the most holidays is the first one to get sacked. “Me – “If that was true, then I don’t have much hope after taking a two-year leave, do I? “Doctor (laughing) – “No, you will be sacked most probably.”

Amazingly, it’s only Wednesday.